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I'm feeling a little disconnected today. Weird dreams will do that I guess.
I'm at school, waiting in the room to take a final. Re-reading the study sheet, waiting for the professor to arrive. I get a text from M-, my former minion at work, telling me that I have to meet him right now or he will destroy my car. I text back that I'm getting ready to take a final exam, so it will have to wait. He responds that it has to be now and sends a picture showing a heavy chain with half the links glowing red. I know if he drops the chain into the water reservoir of my car it will burn away all the water and cause it to explode. I don't know what to do - I have to take the final or I have to save my car.
The professor walks in and it isn't Dr. Sutton but the writer Jay Lake. This is Jay as he looks in the pictures on his blog right now, Chemo Jay. I don't want to tell him I have to miss the final but I work up the nerve. I show him the texts. He gives an exasperated sigh, says he'll accept my study sheet in place of the exam, and sends me to save my car. I run out of the room and through the building. I'm in Cavanaugh Hall, which makes no sense as all my Classical Studies classes are in Herron. Stairs - lots of stairs and hallways then I'm finally at the front doors. I run through the doors and turn down the street when a car comes around the corner and someone in it starts shooting at me. I'm shot but run back to the building and make it inside without being shot again. They are still shooting as I duck inside the doors.
I wake up. It is 7:30 am and I think I'd better get up because this dream is nuts. And I have to pee. Before I can get up I'm back asleep.
I'm in Cavanaugh again, I remember them shooting at me but I'm not shot. Jay is there, healthy Jay this time not chemo Jay, and I tell him "We are in the wrong building". He tells me "You are in the wrong building. I'm right where I want to be."
I go back outside and start down the street. I have to save my car. A marching band is suddenly all around me, in the street, on the sidewalk, blocking my path. They are playing the school fight song. I know all the words and can sing along. I can't get past them.
I wake up, kind of, thinking WTF? And I don't know the school fight song - where did that come from?
I'm back in the dream. The marching band is still there but not blocking my path. I have two companions, one male, one female. I know them in the dream. I trust them. We make it closer to the parking lot. They don't want me to use this particular cross walk. I'm tired of this shit and cross there anyway. Nothing happens. We make it to the parking lot and there is my car in one piece. My little red Prius is fine. But instead of getting into my car I turn and get in to a white SUV. I have the keys. My friends get in with me. I look at my phone, at the texts, and say "I don't think these are from M-." The male says they aren't, that the guy they are from messed up and transposed two of the numbers, sending the threats to me instead. "So there's a destroyed car in some parking lot somewhere?" "Yes." "Oh, OK." I drive away in the white SUV.
I wake up. It is now 9:30 am and I get out of bed this time before I can fall back asleep and back into the dream.
It is now several hours later and the damn dream is still with me. I keep worrying at it, trying to figure it out. I'm tired, have a headache, and feel kind of loopy and detached.
I think the car could be easy. I need to make an appointment at Beck for an oil change and regular maintenance.
And the dream being at school and around a final is a classic stress dream for me. The fact that I can't take the final due to outside forces - rather than being unprepared like I usually am in these dreams - is likely an indicator that I feel I could handle whatever is on my plate but the stress is coming from outside. The threats to my car keep me from taking the final. Then the shooter and the marching band prevent me from getting to my car. I'm being presented with obstacles that I have to overcome. The companions tell me that while I feel alone I'm really not and there are people to help me if I will only accept it. That I don't listen when they warn me about the cross walk, and nothing bad happens, tells me that while they have good advice that it is important to listen to my instincts as well.
Taking the white SUV rather than my beloved car could be my brain's way of telling me that it is alright to look for something new. That while I (sometimes) enjoy my job and I'm good at it that change isn't a bad thing.
I'm not sure where Jay came from but I can interpret his statement that he is right where he wants to be as meaning that he wants his health and his life back; statements he has made before on his blog. He statement that I'm in the wrong building? It's the same as the white SUV - I'm in a rut, I'm restless and wanting to get out but afraid, that change can be a good thing.
Or maybe I'm just crazy. What do you think?
The never-ending stress is getting to me. Strange dreams last night. Not like zombie apocalypse dreams (which I do have when I get wigged out) but strange all the same. Dreams of a very personal nature. And the damn things stayed with me all day. Luckily there was a fully charged iPod, headphones, and a day with no meetings so I was able to zone out. Got a lot done, too.
But I still haven't shaken the dreams yet. Hopefully working out will help.
And if tonight is a repeat of last night? Do me a favor and commit me.
But I still haven't shaken the dreams yet. Hopefully working out will help.
And if tonight is a repeat of last night? Do me a favor and commit me.
It Was Only A Dream, Right?
Apr. 6th, 2009 03:07 pmHad the weirdest dream last night. One of those that wakes you up in the middle of the night going WTF? It is now afternoon and I've finally managed to shake it, mostly.
I became aware that I was dreaming about the time that I had a mumbled, still half asleep conversation with one of my co-workers. While we were in bed together. Naked. Not that this person isn't nice and all but he isn't someone I would normally be in bed with, especially sans clothes. Nothing kinky or sexual going on, just, well, nakedness.
I don't remember any of the conversation but evidently I wasn't giving the correct answers or was too sleepy to make sense because he got out of bed, got dressed and left. I eventually decided it was time to get up too and found myself in the bedroom I grew up in, circa 1987. I pulled a nightshirt that I haven't even owned in about 20 years out of the dresser, put it on, and went to the kitchen.
On the way to the kitchen I passed several tables in the hallway where various co-workers, including my bed-buddy from above, were having breakfast. Some dressed for work, some still in PJs, none naked (thank goodness). Got to the kitchen, again from the house I grew up in, and started bitching that there was no orange juice. My sister shows up and shows me there is orange juice in the other fridge, opens the door to the pantry and voila, it is a refrigerator and there are three more cartons of orange juice. I then bitch that there may be juice but no soy milk because all the people at the tables, all my co-workers, drank it all and I can't possibly eat my cereal with real milk.
I then notice that not only are most of the people around are either family members or current co-workers but there are dozens of dogs running around and getting underfoot. The dog I had growing up, Daisy, is playing with Walter the bulldog while a bunch of little yappy dogs are being chased by black labs and golden retrievers.
And I woke up. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was in my house not the one I grew up in. And that there were no naked co-workers in my bed. Or dogs running around my kitchen. Had my WTF moment and then went back to sleep.
And yes, when I saw the co-worker earlier today I blushed. Couldn't help it.
I became aware that I was dreaming about the time that I had a mumbled, still half asleep conversation with one of my co-workers. While we were in bed together. Naked. Not that this person isn't nice and all but he isn't someone I would normally be in bed with, especially sans clothes. Nothing kinky or sexual going on, just, well, nakedness.
I don't remember any of the conversation but evidently I wasn't giving the correct answers or was too sleepy to make sense because he got out of bed, got dressed and left. I eventually decided it was time to get up too and found myself in the bedroom I grew up in, circa 1987. I pulled a nightshirt that I haven't even owned in about 20 years out of the dresser, put it on, and went to the kitchen.
On the way to the kitchen I passed several tables in the hallway where various co-workers, including my bed-buddy from above, were having breakfast. Some dressed for work, some still in PJs, none naked (thank goodness). Got to the kitchen, again from the house I grew up in, and started bitching that there was no orange juice. My sister shows up and shows me there is orange juice in the other fridge, opens the door to the pantry and voila, it is a refrigerator and there are three more cartons of orange juice. I then bitch that there may be juice but no soy milk because all the people at the tables, all my co-workers, drank it all and I can't possibly eat my cereal with real milk.
I then notice that not only are most of the people around are either family members or current co-workers but there are dozens of dogs running around and getting underfoot. The dog I had growing up, Daisy, is playing with Walter the bulldog while a bunch of little yappy dogs are being chased by black labs and golden retrievers.
And I woke up. It took me a few minutes to realize that I was in my house not the one I grew up in. And that there were no naked co-workers in my bed. Or dogs running around my kitchen. Had my WTF moment and then went back to sleep.
And yes, when I saw the co-worker earlier today I blushed. Couldn't help it.
