mythicalgirl: (bipolaroid)
Well, I didn't get the grass cut this weekend.  Saturday it rained (wow, did it rain) and yesterday I went to the theatre!  I went with some friends from work to see the touring company of Les Miserables - and it was great!  I really didn't know what to expect as I didn't know the story or any of the music.  It was a pleasant surprise and well worth it. 

I also watched a lot of TV, including the last two episodes of season 1 of Babylon 5, the first two episodes of season 1 of Game of Thrones, and the English-language version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I've spent more time in front of the TV this weekend than I have in ages (recent vacation excluded). 

I'm obviously in a bit of avoidance mode.  Plus I'm dealing with some situational depression, which makes me cranky.  I've been unhappy at work for a while - not so much with what I'm doing, although I don't like the ambiguity of my current role (am I a systems architect or not?) but with the whole atmosphere around here lately.  Office politics have become the order of the day around here.  Doing the right things for the right reasons tend to take a backseat to one-upmanship and improving your score on the latest survey.  It makes for an upleasant environment.  Not exactly conducive to a happy workplace.  Plus there are all these projects to get done - all high profile and all needing to be done now, now, now! 

I don't talk about it here much but I deal with depression on a pretty regular basis.  I take antidepressants, which for me have been something of a miracle.  But lately I've been aware that my stress level is way up and despite the meds and other coping strategies (yoga, meditation, etc) I've been experiencing more mood swings, more irritability, and other triggers that I've learned over time mean I'm experiencing (or about to experience) a bout of moderate depression.  During my vacation week these symptoms backed off a lot.  While that could have been a placebo effect of being on vacation it is also a good indicator that the depression is situational and related to work. 

All of which means I need to make some decisions.  Best case scenario I learn new coping mechanisms and deal with work as it is.  Worst case scenario I start looking for a new job - this means change and that tends to throw my mental stability for an albeit temporary loop.  In the meantime I'm trying to get back to the gym on a regular basis, working my standard 8.5 hour day rather than 10-12 hours whether The Project From Hell requires it or not, and refusing to use my off-hours for work.  If my mental weirdness continues I'll go back to my doc to adjust my meds and find a new therapist to talk to (something I should probably do anyway). 

As for right now, well, I suppose I should actually get some work done.  *sigh*
mythicalgirl: (emo poems)
Yes, I have been woefully remiss in keeping this blog updated lately. After the fiasco of The Project That Would Not Die I have found myself, well, not quite giving a shit. Sorry but that's just the way it is. I've had little to say and haven't been able to muster up the motivation to care about that fact.

Truthfully today isn't much better but I was taking a break from the work of a cube dweller, was out here surfing around and thought "Hey, maybe I should drop in and say something!". So here I am.

I finally watched WALL-E (yes, I know, I am hopelessly behind on my NetFlix). Such a sweet little film and lovingly animated. Huge fan of Pixar right here. I loved the way the WALL-E and EVE were done - the voices, the body language, just everything. And the story was cute, making me cheer out loud. A very nice way to spend a cold Saturday evening.

I also watched Hellboy II: The Golden Army and was not quite as impressed. It is a decent movie and the creatures are amazing (although the special effects makeup on the young Hellboy was atrocious). The story was only so-so. It was kind of boring really. And a little too pat. Let's just say I'm glad I got it on NetFlix and didn't pay to go see it in the theater.

Not much reading lately. I spent most of the weekend cooking instead, making soups and stews and freezing a bunch. Its getting cold here so I have this nesting thing going on, stocking up for winter. Still, I did read The Great Stink by Clare Clark and The Lost Symbol by Dan Brown. I enjoyed both immensely. The Great Stink is a somewhat slower and quieter book, which tends to hide that it is a far meatier story. Lots on Victorian London, the sewers and the huge project to modernize them, mental illness, a character that pretty much suffers from post-traumatic stress long before such a thing was known, cutting, societal mores. Lots more going on here than just a murder mystery. Not for everyone. The Lost Symbol is, well, a Dan Brown book. Enough history and fact woven in to make a seemingly impossible plot almost believable. I loved the history of Washington, D.C. as well as all the stuff on the Masons, true or not. As usual Brown came close to snapping the suspension on my disbelief (real close in this one) but managed not to. And in usual Brown fashion the story doesn't end with the end of the bad guy. It just keeps going and going and going. The denouement really could have been tighter. Still I found the book a pleasurable read - and a fast one!

And now I should return to my regularly scheduled work and get something accomplished. I was late this morning due to snow, ice, and everyone in Indiana forgetting how to drive in the shit. Of course everyone else was late as well so no harm, no foul.

Is it time to go to the gym yet?

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mythicalgirl

September 2013

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