mythicalgirl: (Default)
How long has it been since I've done an update?  Wow, um, I'm really sorry about that.  Seriously I had no idea it had been so long.

So what's been up around here lately?  Well, its been hot as hell for days on end with no rain.  I'm not a big fan of the heat.  Or of the sun for that matter (pale = burn).  And the lack of rain means drought - I'm not sure if its official yet or not but 16 days without rain and most of them over 90 degrees?  Yeah, not good.  

The painting is finished, or at least nearly so. I signed it so I guess that means its done.  There are a couple of touch ups to do then the gloss varnish then it will officially be complete.  Now that I've done one and I know how I can get the effect I want I have ideas for more stained glass type paintings.  We'll see if I actually do any of them.

Saw Prometheus last weekend.  Overall I liked it but damn does it have some problems.  It was entertaining but I wasn't able to get really immersed in it due to the stupid.  So much stupid!  Which is sad because there is so much there that is really cool from the look and feel of the movie to all the mythological and Christian symbolism/allegory to the Creation vs Evolution (and are they really at odds?) story beneath the surface.  Plus all the hat tips to Alien.  Pity about the stupid because if the storytelling had been better it would have gone from a fun movie to a truly meaningful one.  

Have you ever tried Chocolate Cheerios?  I got some at the store a couple of weeks ago, figuring what the heck, right?  Damn!  A bowl of these with vanilla almond milk and I'm in taste bud heaven.  I also have a box of the caramel flavored to try.  Yes, I'm having desert flavored cereal for breakfast.  Your point?

Work is work.  The Project From Hell continue to be a project and from hell.  Luckily my part is ramping down at least for the time being.  I've designed the hell out of this thing, now its time to hand my designs off to the developers.  I still have a lot of work to do, especially getting my resources to see my vision and bringing them up to speed on the project, but I don't feel like TPFH is eating my brain anymore.  In other work news now that TPFH is easing up I'm being assigned to another very large project as an architect and Subject Matter Expert.  Which means I now have another project to eat my brain.  Yay! 

In somewhat related news I have an appointment with a therapist on Monday.  As mentioned here before between the stress from the job and my regular depression I've been having periods of more intense crazy.  They could be hormonal or related to medication or just me going crazy.  Since its pretty much impossible for me to know I decided that adding talk therapy back in would be a good thing.  One of my friends started seeing this doc a little over a month ago and likes her so I decided to give her a try.  My work, thankfully, has an employee assistance program that lets me have 6 sessions for free - more than enough time to know if I like her, if I'm comfortable and if the dynamic is right.  If not I'll try someone else.  If she works for me then maybe we can find new strategies for me or break through the blocks that are keeping me from using the coping skills I already know.    

On a lighter note I have another cultural/social engagement this weekend.  My friend B- and I are going to see Idina Menzel in concert.  I am seriously looking forward to this.  And a week after that we're seeing Quidam!  Cirque du Soleil rocks!  So yay me for getting out of the house, being social, and getting some culture.  Not to mention having fun.  

That's it for now.  I have one more meeting then I can scoot.  I would promise to post more often but we know how that goes so I'll just say "Later".  
mythicalgirl: (Default)
My mood is better than it was earlier in the week although I wouldn't say that I'm exactly sane yet. 

I'm happy with the President's announcement yesterday where he came out in favor of gay marriage. Yay!
I'm cranky with the reaction from so many religious conservatives.  Boo Hiss!
But it cheers me to see the support, especially from people in my generation and younger.  Yay!

I've read two cozy mysteries so far this week and am part of the way through my third.  Fluff reading, yes, but that seems to be what I need right now. 
I've also started a book on the myths and legends of Ancient Egypt, definitely not fluff reading, but also seemingly just what I need right now.  At least it works to keep me interested while at the gym. 

I am getting to the gym although not every day like I want.  I skipped yesterday as I intended to get some of the grass cut.  Unfortunately it started raining about 30 minutes after I got home while I was still eating dinner.  So no yard work last night.  I don't know yet if I'm going to hit the gym or try again on the yard after work today.  If I go to the gym I can read.  If I go home I can get at least some of the grass cut before it gets out of control again.  decisions decisions.

Work is work and I don't really want to discuss it right now as it takes up far too much of my time as it is.

I'm still slowly working on the painting.  I'm nearly done with all the "stained glass" color, although only some of the panes have turned out the way I wanted them to - some aren't translucent enough so there may be some over painting in my future.  Once I get all the panes done I'll start working on getting the translucence and depth I'm looking for, ink or paint in the Latin script, age the entire thing, then do the leading.  I'm leaning towards more mixed media than all acrylic for this one.  We'll see how it goes.  Even if the end result sucks I'm having fun working on this one and I consider that a success.  I'm also taking pictures of my progress that I'll try to start posting this weekend. 

I also picked up a copy of the Indianapolis Art Center summer class schedule.  I'm not sure if I'll take a class or not but I want to see if they have something that interests me.

So yeah, things are OK.  I'm still feeling kind of 'off' but better than earlier in the week.  Maybe partly hormonal?  Who knows. 
mythicalgirl: (Default)

The past weekend was a good one, if I do say so myself.  Saturday saw me cleaning the gutters, pulling weeds, running the trimmer, spraying some weed killer (noticing a pattern yet?) and finally doing a quick run to the grocery store.  Sunday saw me going to see a matinee performance of Avenue Q at the local contemporary theatre with friends.  Over the two days I also read a book (Doctored Evidence by Donna Leon) and watched episodes 1-5 of Downton Abbey, Season 1. 

I suppose it is a good thing that the weekend went so well because today, well, today has not been a good day.  Oh, work is fine.  The Project From Hell continues apace but so far the change in project manager hasn't had much affect on me.  I still have a ton of work to do, which I'm getting through as well as I can.  No, work today is fine.  But I'm not.  That situational depression is back with a vengeance, making it hard to concentrate and harder to care.  I've actually managed to get several things accomplished today - on two projects no less - but I feel like an unmotivated loser all the same.  

Seems today is one of my crazier crazy days.  I am much better now than I was when I first got up this morning at 6:30 but I will be the first to admit that I'm not great.  *sigh*

I plan on going to gym for a bit despite the fact that my legs (and butt) are sore from Saturday.  Once home I hope to do some work on the painting and maybe read for a while - probably a cozy mystery as I'm not in the mood for anything more involved right now.  I'll take my meds, go to bed, and hope that I'm a little less crazy tomorrow. 

      
  

mythicalgirl: (bipolaroid)
Well, I didn't get the grass cut this weekend.  Saturday it rained (wow, did it rain) and yesterday I went to the theatre!  I went with some friends from work to see the touring company of Les Miserables - and it was great!  I really didn't know what to expect as I didn't know the story or any of the music.  It was a pleasant surprise and well worth it. 

I also watched a lot of TV, including the last two episodes of season 1 of Babylon 5, the first two episodes of season 1 of Game of Thrones, and the English-language version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  I've spent more time in front of the TV this weekend than I have in ages (recent vacation excluded). 

I'm obviously in a bit of avoidance mode.  Plus I'm dealing with some situational depression, which makes me cranky.  I've been unhappy at work for a while - not so much with what I'm doing, although I don't like the ambiguity of my current role (am I a systems architect or not?) but with the whole atmosphere around here lately.  Office politics have become the order of the day around here.  Doing the right things for the right reasons tend to take a backseat to one-upmanship and improving your score on the latest survey.  It makes for an upleasant environment.  Not exactly conducive to a happy workplace.  Plus there are all these projects to get done - all high profile and all needing to be done now, now, now! 

I don't talk about it here much but I deal with depression on a pretty regular basis.  I take antidepressants, which for me have been something of a miracle.  But lately I've been aware that my stress level is way up and despite the meds and other coping strategies (yoga, meditation, etc) I've been experiencing more mood swings, more irritability, and other triggers that I've learned over time mean I'm experiencing (or about to experience) a bout of moderate depression.  During my vacation week these symptoms backed off a lot.  While that could have been a placebo effect of being on vacation it is also a good indicator that the depression is situational and related to work. 

All of which means I need to make some decisions.  Best case scenario I learn new coping mechanisms and deal with work as it is.  Worst case scenario I start looking for a new job - this means change and that tends to throw my mental stability for an albeit temporary loop.  In the meantime I'm trying to get back to the gym on a regular basis, working my standard 8.5 hour day rather than 10-12 hours whether The Project From Hell requires it or not, and refusing to use my off-hours for work.  If my mental weirdness continues I'll go back to my doc to adjust my meds and find a new therapist to talk to (something I should probably do anyway). 

As for right now, well, I suppose I should actually get some work done.  *sigh*

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mythicalgirl

September 2013

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