mythicalgirl: (Default)
These are some of the ideas that are spinning around in my head today.  For some reason I'm having post-apocalyptic ideas today, mostly in terms of killer plagues and such, not zombie type of shit.   

We have sexually transmitted diseases so why can't we have sexually transmitted immunity?  What if there's a disease that is systematically working its way through the population, only a handful of people are immune or develop immunity after surviving the infection, and one of the ways to spread the immunity is through sexual contact?  Which cultures/societies would be OK with this and which would die out due to social/moral taboos?

Lots of stories are about surviving the apocalypse because the MC (main character) is "special" - immune, magical, tougher than everyone else, etc.  What if you survived because you were home bound for some reason - broken leg, anxiety, severe allergies, that kind of thing?  What would it be like to be a survivor not because you know how to deal with hardship or have some cool magic but because you had panic attacks the prevented you from leaving the house, thus keeping you from being infected?  How long would you last once you had to leave the house due to lack of food and water?

Is it even possible to avoid infection?  What is the latency?  How long can the virus (or whatever) live in the air or on surfaces?  If you were home bound doing online grocery would it be possible to get the plague from the boxes/bags the groceries come in?

Most of what goes wrong in post-apocalyptic fiction is due to the break-down in society - no electricity, no gas, no communications, no food production, no shipping, etc.  What if the population dropped dramatically but the majority was at the extremes?  People younger than X and older than Y.  Would we have the same breakdown?  If you lose 50% of the current population but the 50% that survive are between say 25 and 50 years old and spread evenly socioeconomically what kind of world would we be looking at?  Does it matter where the survivors are (Industrialized countries vs third world)?

What kind of governments would emerge after the plague is over?  Theocracy?  Autocracy?  Dictatorships?  Would we still have a democracy in the US? 

Say the virus, plague, whatever, isn't gone - it could mutate and another wave could come at any time.  What kind of restrictions would governments put on their people around movement, travel, gatherings?  Would it be real safety or security theater?  What about in less populated, more lawless areas?  How long would we as a society have to go without another outbreak before the restrictions would be relaxed?  Removed?

mythicalgirl: (bipolaroid)
 I know.  I never blog anymore.  I'm on Facebook now but honestly I rarely post over there either.  I have become a very uncommunicative, anti-social butterfly.  

Work is work.  Busy as hell with all sorts of politics and bullshit.  Some days I like what I do; other days I hate it with the angry hate of a thousand suns.  I have yet to decide what I want to do - do I want to look for another job?  Would things be any different someplace else?  Do I even want to stay in IT?  If I could actually answer those questions (and the whole host of others swirling around in my head) I might be able to make some decisions and move forward.  As it is I'm pretty much in limbo.

So I'm focusing on non-work stuff for the moment.  Things like upgrades and renovations to the house.  Getting new toys now that I (FINALLY) got wifi at home.  Vacation.  You know, fun stuff.  

Here's the list:
1.  Schedule the first home visit with the bathroom re-modelers.  We did the phone estimate so now it is time to have him come out and measure, draw pictures, and provide a somewhat more accurate estimate.  If I'm cool with what he tells me (and I like him, that's a big thing) we'll move to the third step of picking out fixtures and finalizing the estimate.  

2.  Research the various tablets available and decide if a) I really want a table and b) which one.

3.  Research laptops and decide if a) I really want a laptop and b) which one.  
You might ask why I'm looking at both tablets and laptops.  Well, I have a desktop and I use that for surfing the web right now and when I work at home.  I'm thinking of adding a laptop to that so I can work via wifi and I'm not tied to my office.  I also prefer writing on a laptop rather than a PC because I can get more comfortable.  But I don't want to lug a laptop around when I travel or back and forth to work, etc.  Plus sometimes I just want to check FB or Tumbler without booting the PC up but with a bigger screen than my phone.  So I may get one or the other or both.  Yes, I like toys.

4.  Schedule excursion for the next vacation.  Dad and I are doing our usual thing of going on a cruise.  I just haven't gotten around to scheduling the excursions yet.  

5.  Schedule my vacation at work.  This is important!  

6.  Get a new couch.  I replaced the cushions on my old couch and that worked but now I'm ready to get a new one.  

7.  Have Goodwill or AmVets pick up the old couch.

8.  Other house stuff.  Like painting the mailbox.  And pruning the almost dead trees.  And cutting back the plants that are trying to take over since I haven't had time to garden this year.  

I'm sure there is more.  There is always more.  
Now it is time to go to yet another meeting (I swear I spend half my life in those).  I would promise to blog more but we all know I'd fail horribly so I'll just say later.  
 

mythicalgirl: (Default)
 I fell today.  Yes, I'm a klutz.  

I was walking around my car in the garage, hit the slight lip between the driveway and the garage floor wrong, realized Whoa, I'm gonna go down, and dropped.  

Luckily years of bad knees and occasional bouts of vertigo mean I know how to fall without seriously hurting myself.  Bad news is that falling on concrete hurts like a bitch even when you fall "well".  

Even though it was my left foot that got all twisted up I managed to fall to my right (thank goodness) so I avoided smashing my bad (worse) knee into the floor.  My right knee is scraped and bruised.  My hip is bruised.  My foot is a little achy.  And despite trying to go limp I pulled some muscles across my shoulders just a wee bit.  

I got up, dusted myself off, checked that I didn't rip my pants, got in the car and came in to work. 

I am a dork.  A sore dork.  
mythicalgirl: (hooray for me)
The last two days have actually been pretty good - got lots done and ended on a positive note.  We...won't talk about Monday and Tuesday.  Really.  Let's just pretend those days didn't happen.  These are not the droids you are looking for.

And now* I'm off until Monday so I get a three day weekend!  I know, I probably shouldn't be this excited over an extra day off but seriously, if you were living in my head right now** you would totally understand. 

No plans.  I should probably clean the house because damn.  Otherwise I got nothing.  I may be creative and write or paint.  I might go run around.  Or I might indulge in bump-on-a-log-ism.  Three days to do whatever I want.

I'm giddy.  GIDDY I tell you!

* actually I have to do a production move tonight but that will only take 10 minutes so I'm not counting it.

** be thankful you aren't in my head with me.  Its kind of a mess in there most days, its so full of work stuff that there's just no room.  Plus, eww. 
mythicalgirl: (hooray for me)
I really should be working.  There's a metric shit-ton to do and just no freaking time.  The weekend is the only time I have where I'm not getting bothered or in meetings or answering everyone else's questions. 

And yet here I am on the weekend NOT WORKING!  I did log in to work for about 5 minutes - long enough to block out my work calendar in a vain attempt to carve out some time for me to do my own assignments rather than attend meetings, etc.  Then I logged out and said forget it.  Not working today.  Yes, it means I'll have to work 10-11 hour days this week but damn it I deserve my weekends.

So I'm not working, and not feeling all that guilty about it either.  I am tired and sore - cut the grass for the first time yesterday then today I roughed up the bare spots & seeded, overseeded the front-and side yards, put down plant food + weed control on all the flower beds, spread fertilizer on the entire yard, and watered.  All that after the trip to Lowe's to get the seed and stuff. 

Tired puppy is tired. 

Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go play.  Or take a nap.  Or something.  Anything but work!

Interlude

Feb. 27th, 2013 08:44 am
mythicalgirl: (pic#5358045)
 I'm doing a quickie post before my meetings start just to get my head in the right space.  

After yesterday sucked so much ass I went home at a decent time (5 pm for the Win!), had a PB&J sandwich for dinner (yeah, I know) and read more of my book (Beasts of the Walking City by Del Law).  It was a quiet evening and pretty much exactly what I needed.  Didn't stay up too late, got a decent night's sleep, and woke up actually hungry for once.  Although that probably has more to do with only PB&J for dinner thought, huh?

Right now I'm getting my head into the right place to get shit done here today.  I have a meeting at nine, out of which I'm not expecting much.  Its a stand up where we are supposed to say what we've gotten done, the next task on the list, what is in our way, that sort of thing.  Instead it usually devolves into finger pointing, accusations, and general all around crappy feelings.  Mostly because our PM doesn't know how to facilitate a decent meeting to save her life and doesn't care to learn.  I want our interim PM back - she rocked!  The current one pretty much sucks.  Sometime I step in a take control so the meeting doesn't degenerate into the grown-up equivalent of a playground argument but last time I just didn't have the energy and boy howdy!  I don't know what I'll do today.  Given my mood recently I might just sit back and smirk while everyone turns on the PM.  (OK, I won't because I'm a professional but I can dream, can't I?)

But hey, only 30 minutes, right?  Then I can put on headphones and go heads down for a couple hours to get as much of the shit that landed on me yesterday out of the way.  Then another meeting followed by I hope another couple hours of heads down desk time.  

Wish me luck.  


mythicalgirl: (bipolaroid)
 I'm still here.  Yes, it has been months since my last update.  Sorry about that.

So here's what's going on in a brief list.
  • Mom passed away January 9, 2013
  • I got back from Texas on January 13th and came back to work on the 16th.  So I was gone nearly a month. 
  • The first couple weeks back everyone pretty much treated me like I was made of glass.  
  • That didn't last long
  • I was finally, finally moved to the Architect team (I've been doing the job for over a year but haven't reported to that manager)
  • It was a move, not a promotion.  Still have the same title and the same pay, just report to someone new and get assigned as an Architect resource instead of a Developer
  • Every project I'm assigned to is currently exploding or imploding or something.  Lots of ploding.
  • Pretty much the only resource left on my old team, the one I'm supposed to be turning development stuff over to, just had surgery and is out for three weeks.
  • Almost everything that was moving to her is back on my plate.
  • Almost everything that was all hers is on my plate
  • I am losing my freaking mind
So yeah.  My stress level right now is not great.  I'm dealing with my grief over Mom.  Maybe not well but dealing.  And I was trying to do better at the work/life balance thing before today.  Now I just don't know.  

I know, I know.  One day at a time, one thing at a time.  I get done what I can, tell all my project managers, etc, what I can't get done, what needs new dates, etc.  And I'm doing that.  Just today hasn't been so good what with lots and lots of shit getting dropped on me.  I'm not quite at my best right now and my ability to bend with this stuff is at an all time low.  I'm trying but today feels more like breaking than bending, you know?

So.  Deep breath.  And back to the salt mines.  

* I'll try to update more often but damn, things are nuts right now.  
mythicalgirl: (Default)
 No, I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth.  Although there have been days when that would have been preferable.  

Things are OK but not great.  My Mom has cancer and has been in the hospital and rehab since a week after her first chemo treatment the week of Thanksgiving.  The cancer has her liver all whacked, which has led to massive fluid retention, then the chemo knocked her on her butt.  She's out of the hospital and in the rehab facility now but its going to be a long slog to get her strength back up so she can go home.  Then chemo will start again (albeit without one of the drugs).  

Everyone is doing as well as they can with this.  I'm dealing but my being here in Indiana and her being in Texas makes it difficult.  Not that I could do anything if I were there, of course, but the feeling of helplessness gets to me some days.  My appetite has pretty much come back - I lost it for a couple weeks at the start of all this - but I'm still not sleeping for shit.  The best sleep I've had in months (even since before the cancer stuff) was this past Saturday from 10 to 2 on the couch.  Slept like a baby and no work dreams (that I can remember).  

The stress of worrying about my parents is coupled with the stress of working my ass off.  The last month has been absolutely fucking insane.  I just don't even know how much I've been working.  Even when I'm not working, either in the office or at home, I can't get away from it.  I get called after hours for production issues.  I think about solutions when driving or in the shower.  I fucking dream about this place and all the things I have to do.  I'm working like a fiend getting shit done and my To Do list hasn't dropped below TWENTY tasks in over a month.  As soon as I get one thing done more tasks show up.  

The good news is that the second project I was on as an architect has been moved to one of the other architects as I just can't give it the time it deserves.  The bad news is that one of the developers I had working on my apps quit.  The even worse news is that now that I'm having to support the code again I'm finding that he sucked as a developer and I'm having to fix shit right and left.  The worst news is that the other developer I should be able to rely on to help take up some of the slack isn't doing the job so I am currently doing the work of two people.  I am an architect and a developer and somehow I'm supposed to get 80+ hours of work done each week.

Yeah, that's not happening.  

In my off time (Ha!) I'm reading, mostly fluff shit that doesn't take much brain power, watching TV and surfing the web.  If it takes much more than that it probably isn't getting done.  

As of right now I'm still scheduled to be on vacation the first week of February.  Whether Dad and I take the trip or cancel depends on how Mom is doing by then.  If we cancel I'll likely use the time to go to Texas for a visit.  Or sleep.  Sleep would be good. 
mythicalgirl: (Default)
I didn't get around to working on my icons and stuff here over the weekend. 

Instead I worked yesterday.  Not all day - just about 3.5 hours.  Last week I worked roughly 46 hours by the time I left Friday.  Technically Sunday's hours go on this week which means I'm already at 13 hours for the week.  And we have another server move this weekend (the BIG ONE!!) so I'll be working lots of extra hours.  

I wonder if I kept really meticulous track of all the hours I spend working - at the office, at home, thinking through shit in the car, dreaming solutions at night - how many hours I actually spend each week on work.  

Far too many, I'm sure. 

Which is all a long way of saying that the skull icon will be staying up for the near future.  Yes, I know it doesn't go with the butterflies.  Oh well.  

Busy Day

Nov. 1st, 2012 04:21 pm
mythicalgirl: (Default)
 This will be quick.  I've been beyond busy all day today.  Combine with having 32 hours in before I started the day and spending an hour outside in the cold last night at the Halloween Block Party and I am one pooped puppy.  
But before I go - I think I fixed it to allow everyone to comment here.  Sissy - try when you get a chance.  
If I start getting spam I'll change the settings though so fair warning.  

Love to all. 
mythicalgirl: (Default)
Things over here at DW are similar enough to LJ that I'm not freaking out. I like having my RSS Feeds on my Reader page (if you could do that on LJ don't tell me, please).

I imagine I'll be tweaking things over here for some time. Themes and icons, etc.
For now I'm good. I'd love to have everything in one FList but I haven't figured out how to do that yet for people that either aren't on DW or don't allow RSS feeds. I'll figure it out, of course. But probably not until this weekend.

And yes, I'm still at work. I think I'm nearly done for the day but it means I won't get home until Trick or Treating has already started, which is fine with me. It is cold and yucky and I really, really don't want to go to the block party tonight.  Even if they will feed me.  

OK, later.

Oh, and Sissy, I got your voice mail.  Saturday is better to call - I have to work part of Sunday as we're moving servers to Houston.  
mythicalgirl: (Default)
LJ is being an ass (what is new?) so I'm going to try Dreamwidth for a while. User name is the same - mythicalgirl.

I've set up cross posting so you should be able to see entries at either http://mythicalgirl.livejournal.com/ or at http://mythicalgirl.dreamwidth.org/.

Dreams

Oct. 28th, 2012 01:18 pm
mythicalgirl: (Default)

I'm feeling a little disconnected today.  Weird dreams will do that I guess. 

I'm at school, waiting in the room to take a final.  Re-reading the study sheet, waiting for the professor to arrive.  I get a text from M-, my former minion at work, telling me that I have to meet him right now or he will destroy my car.  I text back that I'm getting ready to take a final exam, so it will have to wait.  He responds that it has to be now and sends a picture showing a heavy chain with half the links glowing red.  I know if he drops the chain into the water reservoir of my car it will burn away all the water and cause it to explode.  I don't know what to do - I have to take the final or I have to save my car. 

The professor walks in and it isn't Dr. Sutton but the writer Jay Lake.  This is Jay as he looks in the pictures on his blog right now, Chemo Jay.  I don't want to tell him I have to miss the final but I work up the nerve.  I show him the texts.  He gives an exasperated sigh, says he'll accept my study sheet in place of the exam, and sends me to save my car.  I run out of the room and through the building.  I'm in Cavanaugh Hall, which makes no sense as all my Classical Studies classes are in Herron.  Stairs - lots of stairs and hallways then I'm finally at the front doors.  I run through the doors and turn down the street when a car comes around the corner and someone in it starts shooting at me.  I'm shot but run back to the building and make it inside without being shot again.  They are still shooting as I duck inside the doors.

I wake up.  It is 7:30 am and I think I'd better get up because this dream is nuts.  And I have to pee.  Before I can get up I'm back asleep.

I'm in Cavanaugh again, I remember them shooting at me but I'm not shot.  Jay is there, healthy Jay this time not chemo Jay, and I tell him "We are in the wrong building".  He tells me "You are in the wrong building.  I'm right where I want to be."
I go back outside and start down the street.  I have to save my car.  A marching band is suddenly all around me, in the street, on the sidewalk, blocking my path.  They are playing the school fight song.  I know all the words and can sing along.  I can't get past them.

I wake up, kind of, thinking WTF? And I don't know the school fight song - where did that come from?

I'm back in the dream.  The marching band is still there but not blocking my path.  I have two companions, one male, one female.  I know them in the dream.  I trust them.  We make it closer to the parking lot.  They don't want me to use this particular cross walk.  I'm tired of this shit and cross there anyway.  Nothing happens.  We make it to the parking lot and there is my car in one piece.  My little red Prius is fine.  But instead of getting into my car I turn and get in to a white SUV.  I have the keys.  My friends get in with me.  I look at my phone, at the texts, and say "I don't think these are from M-."  The male says they aren't, that the guy they are from messed up and transposed two of the numbers, sending the threats to me instead.  "So there's a destroyed car in some parking lot somewhere?"  "Yes."  "Oh, OK."  I drive away in the white SUV.

I wake up.  It is now 9:30 am and I get out of bed this time before I can fall back asleep and back into the dream.

It is now several hours later and the damn dream is still with me.  I keep worrying at it, trying to figure it out.  I'm tired, have a headache, and feel kind of loopy and detached. 

I think the car could be easy.  I need to make an appointment at Beck for an oil change and regular maintenance. 
And the dream being at school and around a final is a classic stress dream for me.  The fact that I can't take the final due to outside forces - rather than being unprepared like I usually am in these dreams - is likely an indicator that I feel I could handle whatever is on my plate but the stress is coming from outside.  The threats to my car keep me from taking the final.  Then the shooter and the marching band prevent me from getting to my car.  I'm being presented with obstacles that I have to overcome.  The companions tell me that while I feel alone I'm really not and there are people to help me if I will only accept it.  That I don't listen when they warn me about the cross walk, and nothing bad happens, tells me that while they have good advice that it is important to listen to my instincts as well. 

Taking the white SUV rather than my beloved car could be my brain's way of telling me that it is alright to look for something new.  That while I (sometimes) enjoy my job and I'm good at it that change isn't a bad thing.  

I'm not sure where Jay came from but I can interpret his statement that he is right where he wants to be as meaning that he wants his health and his life back; statements he has made before on his blog.  He statement that I'm in the wrong building?  It's the same as the white SUV - I'm in a rut, I'm restless and wanting to get out but afraid, that change can be a good thing. 

Or maybe I'm just crazy.  What do you think?

mythicalgirl: (buddha)
I did not get breakfast eaten at home this morning (I know).  Too much time coughing, trying to hack up a hairball or something.  Every couple of minutes while getting ready this morning I was stopped by a major coughing fit.  Damn cold.  Left me running late to get out the door although I still managed to get to work only a five minutes after 8am.  No, I don't know how I did it either. 

Luckily it was an easy morning and breakfast was eaten in peace.  Today was lighter on the meetings than a normal day as well - an hour and a half white board design meeting (think three people around a conference table taking notes while I stand, draw, and talk out what is in my head) and an hour project core team meeting.  Leaving me lots and lots of desk time.  I'm still woefully behind on pretty much every one of my tasks - most of which are due either Monday or Thursday of next week - but I did make some progress today.  So Yay Me!

The coughing has only made me miserable about a dozen times today.  Sadly that is not an exaggeration.  And yet it represents a slight improvement over yesterday!  I still feel pretty much like crap but improved crap if there is such a thing.  

Now, despite the fact that I have far too much to do, I am going to call it a day so I can go home and collapse.  I have housekeeping/life things to take care of - like paying bills, cleaning the bathrooms, vacation prep stuff, etc.  I think most of that will wait for the weekend though as I expect to completely fall out on the couch and be a slug once I get home.  I will eat because the cold meds make me loopy if I don't (although I'm not hungry, at all).  Then sleep.  As much of it as I can get before it's time to get up and do this again tomorrow.  

mythicalgirl: (bipolaroid)
By Friday evening, after the crappy week I had last week, I got a cold.  Or a sinus thing.  Or the flu.  I'm not really sure what it is except that it has included aches and fever and snot, oh my!  

I didn't make it to work yesterday*.  Fever.  We aren't supposed to come in when we have a fever or for 24 hours after.  I'm at work today, maybe a wee bit early for the 24 hour thingy, but I looked at my schedule and couldn't figure out how to stay home another day.  

I managed to eat at home this morning so yay me.  I did not manage to make my lunch though.  One of of two ain't bad.  Plus it is actually a quiet day so far.  No big crisis to deal with - that might have something to do with all of management being off-site this morning.  Funny how that works.  

Anyway, I'm going to get some lunch, deal with my afternoon meetings then go home and collapse.  

*watching Sesame Street with a fever and while on cold medicine is a trip.  
mythicalgirl: (Default)
I'm reposting this from Jay's blog.  Because even with chemo-brain he is for more erudite than I am and says it all.  

Originally posted by [livejournal.com profile] jaylake at [culture|religion] The modern persecution by the Christians
One of the more ridiculous things I hear from some of my Christian friends on a reasonably consistent basis is that they are being persecuted for their religion. I realize that persecution is an important Christian meme from the earliest days of the Church, and telling themselves this is comforting and self-valorizing. But let's talk about persecution for a little while.

As a Christian, are you prevented from marrying the person you love by the rules of your country's dominant religion? My gay and lesbian friends are. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a Christian, are your efforts to seek political and legal equality stymied by rhetoric from houses of worship on every street corner, and millions of dollars in a political funds from tax-exempt entries? My gay and lesbian friends are. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a woman seeking basic reproductive health services, are your choices limited and controlled and banned by government interference between you and your doctor, those bans and controls coming from your country's dominant religion? My female friends are. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a religious minority seeking to practice your own religion in peace, are you constantly subject to prayers, religious observances and public holidays as established by the rules of your country's dominant religion? My Jewish and Islamic and Sikh friends are. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a religious minority seeking to establish a house of worship consistent with real estate and zoning practices in a major American city, are you prevented from doing so by a massive public outcry led by practitioners of your country's dominant religion? My Islamic and Sikh friends have repeatedly endured this. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a religious minority voting in state and national elections, are your choices almost always between two members of your country's dominant religion? My Jewish and Islamic and Sikh friends find that to be so. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a religious minority being sworn into a rarely-elected office, or to testify in court, are you required and expected to swear on the sacred text of your country's dominant religion? If you try to use your own sacred text, are you subject to mockery and derision? My Jewish and Islamic and Sikh friends find that to be so. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As an atheist who polls as the leased trusted group in America, how would you feel about despised and distrusted? That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

As a student trying to learn to be competitive in the high tech future, are you subjected to counterfactual faith-based teachings in math and science class thanks to the meddling of your country's dominant religion with its persistent, pernicious confusion of faith-based belief with objective reality? Students across America are every day. That's persecution by Christians, not of Christians.

The next time you complain about a minor erosion in the absolute social dominance of Christianity as being a form of persecution, take a moment to think, really think, what it still means to be a non-Christian in America. Trading away a small bit of your power for the self-respect and social safety of others isn't persecution, it's loving compromise.
mythicalgirl: (Default)
Today my job made me cry.  
Or more specifically the stress and bullshit and self-perceived privilege of some of my co-workers made me cry.

The totally manufactured and unnecessary crisis of yesterday that I was hoping was alleviated?  Well, it is alleviated.  Now.  But not without some kicking and screaming.  
Management got involved and it escalated yet again.  
After a couple of explanations I think, I hope, everything is now cool and we are back on track.  
Documents are signed off, developers are coding, testers are completing test plans. 

And I'm worn the fuck out.  Quitting time cannot get here fast enough.  
mythicalgirl: (Default)
Come in to work, log in, get breakfast.
Halfway through breakfast OMGF!INGCRISIS!HELP!
Leave other half of breakfast to get cold. Solve crisis.
Go to meeting (still hungry)
Go to another meeting (still hungry)
Meeting turns into OMGCRISIS.  
Work with others, try to be voice of reason, solve crisis.
Go to another meeting, get asked why my shit isn't done.  See number of meetings.
Lunch and/or go outside and try not to scream
Bring lunch back to my desk.
Catch up on news, blogs and email while eating.
Halfway through lunch OMG!F!INGCRISIS!HELP!
Leave other half of lunch to get cold/warm/inedible.  solve crisis
Go to meeting (hungry, nauseous, and pissed off)
Go to another meeting, PM doesn't remember leaving decision in my lap and saying they support me, now everyone questioning decision and PM throws me under the bus.
Miss a meeting scheduled ten freaking minutes ago because hey I already have another meeting.
Results of missed meeting generate yet another F!INGCRISIS! We have to redesign the entire F!ing project right F!ing NOW!
Skip a meeting to frantically try to stem the bleeding and solve the manufactured and totally unnecessary crisis.
Crisis (hopefully) averted.  Peers say thank you.  Management = crickets
PM that threw me under the bus has OMG!F!INGCRISIS!HELP!  Tempted to flip off and walk away.
Grit my teeth and be a professional.  Solve crisis. 
Finally answer email from hours dealing with meetings and crisis after crisis.
Add several more tasks to my list.  Mark exactly zero complete.
Go home and prepare to do it again tomorrow.


* I would like this job a lot better if some of the people I worked with would use their brains for more than keeping their skulls from collapsing. 
mythicalgirl: (Default)
I have been told by more than one person that I need to update so they know I'm alive.  So here you go.  I'm alive.

The busy hasn't stopped and I don't see it even lightening up much in the near future.  I did take the day off Friday to try to regrow my brain a little.  I'm amazed at how much I got accomplished over three days (Monday was a holiday here in the US).  So much that by the end of the day Thursday I'd had enough.  

I realized after talking to my parents yesterday that that particular feeling, the one of "I've had enough", has been a pretty common one for me this year.  OK, technically I already knew that from therapy, but Dad asked how many vacation days I have left and I couldn't remember so I looked it up today.  And after taking Friday off I have three.  Three days left.  I took a week off in April.  I get 20 days a year so that means I've frittered away a day here and a day there, mostly for migraines or just not being able to face this shit, until I only have three left.  

Yeah.  It sucks.  The positive is that going to therapy is helping and I really am getting better at dealing with things without doing the avoidance thing.  The negative is I only have three fucking days left.  

So no vacations for me until after the first of the year.  Luckily I only have to wait until February when I get to take a week off to snorkel, swim, and generally let others pamper me for a week.  Not that far away when you think about it.  

So yes, I'm alive, I'm nearly out of vacation days, therapy is going fairly well, I'm OK most of the time and better overall.  
I will try for short updates more often but I won't promise anything.  
mythicalgirl: (pirate)
I just can't even...

I am so busy today I can barely remember my own name.  The To Do List?  It just keeps getting longer.  Some of those items have been on there for weeks! if not months! and I still can't get to them.  Today its because of planning for 2013 so I walked into work finding invites to meetings on five (5!) new project that we need high level scope and estimates on.  All of which needs to be done by, oh, Wednesday.  Yes, this Wednesday.  

If anyone sees my brain can you please tell it to come home, like right-the-f!ck-now?  I had it this morning during all those meetings but as soon as I went to Subway to get lunch it ran away.  And the little shit isn't done for the day yet.

Blogging may be sparse around here for a few days.  Oh, who am I kidding?  Blogging is always sparse around here these days.  

If you'll excuse me...




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